Men 'R' from Mars, Women 'R' from Venus

I was at the Apna Bazar grocery store to do my weekly grocery shopping. I noticed a man hurriedly storm into the store and stand in front of all the aisles thunderstruck. Of course it was raining torrents outside, seemed like he carried that ambiance inside. Then he went to the fruits aisle, looked to his left and right (not at the fruits) and stood flabbergasted. I assumed he was searching for someone.

Soon after I heard a lady at the entrance,”Aji sunte ho, Kela mila kya, panditji baithe hain gaadi mein, Jaldi Karo” The man grunted something and nodded.

That got me thinking….. Gosh, men and women communicate so differently. Men are Martians of a few words; Women are Venusians loud and boisterous. 
While Martians (men) tend to pull away and silently think about the things (bananas), Venusians (women) feel an instinctive need to talk and ask about the things (bananas).

Well the list is long here. At a minimum, the women will certainly look up the size, color, ripeness, freshness, and price, and compare 3 different varieties.

Some sophisticated Venusians may look for the “where packaged” label, “where grown”, organic, calories, serving size and any diet ratings. 

No wonder it takes my better half 2 minutes to buy bananas where as it takes me 10 times as much.

This man was standing a few inches away from the bananas (only if he bothered to look at them) and he kept asking the store workers for the bananas.

The second warning was heard at the entrance – “Aji, chote wale kele leke aana”. For a minute I thought I saw the man move, but no, another man-shopper brought the one and only type of banana available in the store and gave it to the man. One of the quotes from the infamous book by John Gray is “Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished.”

I bet the helper–man must’ve read John Gray’s book, - and he was motivated to help out the other fellow-man, while the women-shoppers looked on in disbelief!

Without the awareness that we are supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with each other.
Talk about the unique ways that each gender deals with stress ….

Take me for example- Usually when guests come home for lunch or dinner, I prepare an eclectic meal for them and sometimes the preparation starts a week in advance. I like to visualize the dishes with the perfect taste, color and texture with touches of garnish , served in classic or modern stemware, glassware or serveware. 

(I know some Martians out there must find this funny….and must be thinking- As long as I have a paper napkin to hold and wipe my food, why all this fuss?)

Well, because I find it enjoyable and relaxing!

My better half claims that the so called stemware, flatware and serveware are treasures to be seen through glass doors and they only come out when the guests arrive. In fact, though I have much of this stemware from years ago, he is of the impression that I brought them last week. Hmmph!

Well, as I was going through the grocery aisle, I noticed a young confused dad, shifting tomatoes between hands. I wasn’t sure if he was playing tomato juggling (to calm his bawling 3 year old in the pram) or if he really was someone from the FDA looking for some explosive chemical treated tomatoes. His wife at the same time had completed loading the cart from aisle 1, zipped through aisle 2 and was racing to aisle 3. I think she had given him the job of picking tomatoes. Here is where I quote John Gray again -  Venus is on Fire, but Mars is on Ice. In this case, the Martian (man) felt that balancing tomatoes is intricately connected to balancing the blood sugar which also balances the hormones. I am sure juggling tomatoes had a calming effect on him.

At the other end of the aisle, I noticed a couple poking through a bag of oranges. The lady wanted to selectively pick only certain oranges inside the bag but the man was insisting that they need to take the whole bag or the loose oranges. I could hear the argument in Gujarati …. Now wait a minute …..The oranges were bagged so that people could buy a bag of oranges.  As the man walked away from the argument…. Venus opened the bag and put loose oranges into a plastic bag. … Clearly oranges were the cause of the menopause –and the “man-o-pause” relationship stressors!

As I went past the aisle, I noticed a lady take out a Champa agarbatti and smell it (I am glad she didn’t light it up), she put that back in the packet, gave me a sheepish grin  and went on to open Cycle Brand agarbatti. There were 3 packets in there – she opened all 3 of them and started to smell each one … I asked her why she was doing that …. And she said that she was trying to balance the aromas for the yin and yang.

She said the main purpose of burning incense was to keep a cheerful and tranquil mind during reading because the ancient Chinese believed incense was beneficial to study and it can appease the spirit and inspire the mind. Yin and yang, were the opposing principles in nature, the former meaning feminine, the latter masculine. She went on to explain that the concept of yin yang  is used to describe how polar or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world.

(Ah, Martians and Venusians even in the ancient chinese philosophy)

Well, well, well….

At first I couldn’t understand why men were so disinterested in grocery shopping, but now I get it, it is a polar effect! Take the same Martian (man) from the grocery store and put him at an iPad 2 launch and a Motorola XOOM unveiling in Manhattan, NY. Now wouldn’t that be paradisiacal! I am sure he will forget even his very existence!

Now my better half will argue that I have the same effect when I am at the Macys or Lord  & Taylors Annual Shoe Sale! He claims I go MIA once I see those shoes ….

He makes a case that it can’t be worse than running out of a moving vehicle at the sight of a Sale sign …, (once I was driving the car and ran out of the moving car (without putting it on park), when I saw a sale sign at the Ann Taylor store in downtown Princeton. Sigh!)

I tell ya,.. it all boils down to achieving the yin-yang balance.  It gives us the strength and energy to cope with the challenges of our modern lifestyles; ….how hard can it get - be it buying agarbattis, shoes or even iPads!